By Kyle Robinson
-- “After careful thought and experimentation, I am finally ready to give my full endorsement to the invention of electricity!” said an almost seemingly half-hearted Barack Obama. “But… let me be clear, if ANY alternative comes up before the election please… you know where to reach me… any other alternative…”
The endorsement comes long after most Americans have already been on board with the advantages that electricity offers. With the exception of a few off-brand Amish communities, everybody has accepted that there is simply no better way to stay entertained, keep food fresh, and keep in touch with friends among other possible uses.
When asked why it has taken until now for his endorsement of what seems like the most basic of inventions at this point in history Obama said, “I was simply considering all of the options… all of them… as in any other possible option that presented itself…”
CNN reported the news as if it wasn’t out of the ordinary at all. The always personable Obama ended by stating, “Now with time freed up I will be looking to other possible endorsements of things such as the printing press and the wheel.”
As some questioned the sincerity of his claims, one witness claims Obama asked a cameraman if there were any alternatives still left instead of electricity to meet the same needs.
Comments