Bed Bath and Beyond Pulls Newell Products From Stores After CEO Publicly States “ACAB”

by Drew Valdez

-- In an attempt to please the Right, Bed Bath and Beyond has pulled Newell products from stores after learning that the CEO of Newell Brands, Ravi Saligram, publicly stated “ACAB.”

A Bed Bath and Beyond spokesperson says, “We just want to sell you toasters, bed sheets, and whisks - that’s it. Because of that there is no room on our shelves for those who have strong political opinions.”

Following a preliminary audit of the rest of the products in Bed Bath and Beyond stores, it is believed that inventory will be cut by 73% due to controversial political statements made by other companies.