By Kyle Robinson
-- A 3 minute press conference ended with the vibrant Biden claiming that “Whatever happens it is a rigged election, okay? It’s the greatest rigged election of our lifetime.” The clearly disgruntled Biden was not pleased with his handlers’ decision to remove him from the 2024 Presidential race a mere two weeks after being forced by his handlers to make the statement that he would certainly not be withdrawing.
“They say they’ve never seen anything like it!” he continued. “This is the greatest disaster of all disasters, believe me. Other disasters? Totally disgraceful.”
The current president seemed to cheer up when offered ice cream afterward by Peanut the Oakland A’s mascot which “Always seems to cheer him up!” said an overly-enthusiastic Jill Biden.
Hillary Clinton was reached for comment and claimed that she suddenly has a bunch of free time on her hands since her ‘project’ is now canceled.
With respect to the Weekly Report’s non-politically aware fans, Clinton then clarified that the ‘Project’ was to kill Biden.
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