by Kyle Robinson
-- President Biden added to his tough-on-terrorist approach toward the Taliban this week via a letter. The president told reporters that it contained threats of sanctioning, tariffs on their exports (of which there are currently none), and no fewer than 8 frowny faces. Our correspondent caught up with Sleepy Joe before Mattlocke started:
“Here’s the deal……. Uhhhh… I just want the headlines to stop…. Just gotta buy a little more time and everyone will stop caring about all of this,” said Biden as his handlers attempted to scurry him behind the stage before another question could be asked. “The Taliban will be nice! After all I gave them thousands of guns, a couple hundred helicopters, some drones… hell, I even gave them a few hundred Americans!”
The biggest threat contained within the letter was that of the stalling of the sale of Chinese-made pride flags to the terror regime.
Jen Psaki spoke with the press on the ongoing crisis: “We believe that without colorful flags promoting all types of sexuality that this will club them into submission… Unfortunately I was informed recently that they generally hang gays from helicopters so we may have to rethink this strategy, and also we want everyone to stop paying attention to Afghanistan, please. We have more pressing issues like forcing the Cleveland Indians to change their name.”
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