David Duke Admits Racist Views Stemmed From Dr. Seuss

by Kyle Robinson

-- Among the variety of vile and outright hateful children’s books out there Dr. Seuss stands at the top. The stories of colorful figures and seemingly fun-loving characters have been carefully crafted to corrupt the minds of America’s youth and unsuspecting parents. Once you read between the lines the message becomes a little more clear from Mr. Seuss.

The books degenerate and insult a variety of cultures but do so in a way that is fun for children and yet subtle enough to slip by parents. The inside cover of one cover slyly reads ”ASIANS SUCK,” a detail that many would not notice.

White Supremacist, David Duke, claims that the books inspired him to become a Grand Wizard.

“Basically I was a normal kid until I finished the series, at which point it was clear to me that the white race was superior,” said Duke as he finished a can of Pringles. “Up until the books my goal was to become a doctor.”

The message is clear that the books can simply not stay in circulation. SJW Jarrett McGreenhair assured that this is not a Fascist-Style book burning but instead “a cleansing of ideas that we do not like, a book burning of sorts, but not a book burning, kinda… but let’s not call it that.”

The cancellation for the rest of the month is as follows but subject to change:

• Harry Potter (Oppressive Americans came mainly from Britain originally)

• Peanut Butter (Invented by a black guy, but HE was friends with a white guy)

• Printer Paper

• The Voice

• Barney

• The company that makes the adhesive on the tape pieces that hold together ‘Field and Stream’ winter blankets