by Kyle Robinson
-- As Texas is one of the more criticized states due to its ending of Covid restrictions, they recently saw their beloved Texas Rangers take the field for their home opener last week. The game was packed with nearly 50,000 fans, virtually no masks, and the ‘Kiss a Stranger’ Cam back every half inning.
The move was criticized more harshly than the 2017 Astros cheating scandal. Democrat operatives such as Nancy Pelosi and Anthony Fauci weighed in… “This is sooooo much worse than the Civil War, which I remember vividly,” said an enraged Pelosi.
“THEY’RE MAKING ME LOOK STUPID!!” said Dr. Anthony Fauci in a slightly inebriated state. Fauci has increasingly suggested that double mask recommendations may be able to be relaxed by the summer of 2025 if we reelect Biden. He continues, “We were hoping to see at least a 40% increase in cases because they’re a red state and we hate them.”
Despite the hopes of Mr. Fauci, Texas has been seeing a decrease in cases on pace with the rest of the country as vaccinations continue to be pushed out. The interview ended early as Fauci walked off into the mosh pit screaming “VARIANTS! COVID VARIANTS EVERYWHERE!”
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