by Drew Valdez
-- Aghast! Edgar Allan Poe has shockingly returned from the grave more than 150 years after his death. Many are anticipating the writer will release new works to add to his collection of already historic pieces such as “The Raven” and “A Tell-Tale Heart;” but in his return, Poe will reportedly be focusing on a career as a male stripper with the stage name “Edgar ALLan’at Pole.”
“You know back in my day, I would have been executed in a public hanging,” said Poe in reference to being a male stripper in the mid-1800’s. “I tried making a return in the 1950’s, but I quickly observed that society would not tolerate such behavior yet.”
“I decided that only now in 2021 is it safe and acceptable for me to return to the public eye,” Poe said as he rubbed baby oil on his abs. “The coronavirus had no chance against me as I cocooned myself inside a thick layer of Flex Seal spray ‘Cask of Amontillado’ style if you will.”
Make sure to catch Edgar ALLan’at Pole in the primetime weekend slot at The Abbey if you are in Los Angeles.
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