Elliot Blames Report Of 2-7 Start To Season On ‘Russian Disinformation Campaign’

by Kyle Robinson

-- “The idea that we have only won two of our seven games this season is completely false and a ‘TOTAL HOAX.’” A Visibly upset Ezekiel Elliot exited his interview on the matter while failing multiple times to hold onto a football handed to him by Andy Dalton.

The Dallas Cowboys have come under scrutiny for poor play so far this season which was magnified with the loss of Dak Prescott in week 5. As many look for answers the team has seemed to settle on blaming the Russians.

Mike McCarthy gave his opinion, “It’s just like the Soviet Union, all propaganda, all fake news, everything to cause chaos in the Free World. Do not believe what you read about our record this year.”

Vladimir Putin denied the accusations in a brief press conference before appointing himself ‘Dictator For Life.’ “We have no interest in interfering with the Cowboys; also praise Stalin and freedom is chaos.” The comments are unrelated in any way.