By Drew Valdez
-- A Colorado family has hit some turbulence as their furloughed flight attendant mother is forcing her family to act as if they are passengers on a plane. We learned that the 39-year-old mother, Janice, is having severe withdrawals from not being able to pass out peanuts and break the news to flyers that their carry-on bag has to be checked.
“It’s really bad,” said Janice’s husband Jim. “Sometimes I’ll notice her unconsciously gesturing to exits and demonstrating how to put an oxygen mask on.”
According to members of the family, Janice is pulling out all the stops. “She’ll wake us up at 6 AM and make me drive our kids around the block acting like we’re late for our flight,” pushover husband Jim said. “When we get back to the house, she haggles us at the front door saying we’re not in the right boarding group and makes us wait 45 minutes in the freezing cold.”
In addition to having the family recreate different scenarios each day, we learned that the family’s living room has been remodeled as a cabin of an airplane to truly recreate Janice’s working environment.
“Once we’re inside, I have to shake my baby sister to get her crying,” 12-year-old son David said. Janice ensures us that the 10-month-old infant can handle it and that they are working on getting the baby to cry by just yelling in her face.
The spineless father said, “We have to be careful making any sudden or suspicious moves ‘cause we'll get attacked by the air marshall, a role Janice also assumes, and end up with some pretty bad injuries.” Jim is apparently nursing a broken rib from when he was tackled for getting up to check his email while the “fasten seatbelt” light was on.
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