by Kyle Robinson
-- As the state of Georgia passed new election reform to clamp down on voter fraud potential, President Biden made a statement demanding Major League Baseball Commissioner, Rob Manfred, move the All Star game to a new venue. The new bill passed by the Georgia House has some stipulations that critics have claimed ‘embolden white supremacy’ and are problematic. Some of the new criteria include:
Voters must be alive
Voters must cast no more than 3 ballots
Voters may be permitted to vote republican ONLY IF given authorization prior
Ballot boxes must not be left unattended at the DNC Headquarters more than three hours at a time
Voters must be alive OR have been deceased no more than 10 years ago (amending Rule 1)
Pelosi slammed the new restrictions as entirely based on upholding white supremacy as she ate $40 gelato in front of hungry migrant children. “We need to follow more developed countries in their approach to elections like Cuba and North Korea.”
Rob Manfred quickly seized the opportunity to move the game to Pyongyang, North Korea almost as if he was looking for a reason to do so. Manfred stated “We have long admired the integrity of their voting system; so fairly administered by Kim Jong Un that he regularly gets upwards of 99% of the vote followed by minor raids of citizens who are then sent to Siberia, but that’s neither here nor there.” He then turned to adjust his lifesize painting of the Supreme Leader behind his desk while wearing eight masks.
Major League Baseball will also work on moving the Braves out of Atlanta permanently and refuse to recognize the existence of the state of Georgia and just rename it a ‘buffer zone’ with no distinct purpose.
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