by Drew Valdez
-- This Easter, or Sunday, April 4th, 2021 to regular folk, a radical Christian father of two boys finally let his kids leave their room after locking them inside for 3 days leading up to the holiday.
The father, Zachary Smith, explains he wanted to have his kids have the same experiences as Jesus. "He is the almighty one. I want my kids to be almighty. This is the way," said Smith as police escorted him to their police cruiser. Disney then took legal action after that statement due to copyright law.
"It was hard to get used to at first, but I now understand this is the only way we can get closer to Jesus," said wife Amanda as medical personnel pulled nails out from her hands and feet to remove her from a wooden cross on the patio.
As for the children, Christopher and Jacob, 6 and 9 respectively, they said they did not realize they were locked in their room as they apparently just played Call of Duty and looked at porn all weekend.
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