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  • Writer's pictureWeekly Report

Tampa Bay Rays To Return To Business As Usual With Blow Up Dolls In Stands

By Kyle Robinson

-- In an effort to make the camera work more aesthetically pleasing to their television audience, the Tampa Bay Rays will be resuming their regular practices of putting an adult doll in every fourth seat throughout certain sections of Tropicana Field. This will be accompanied by soundboard cheers from past Yankee-Red Sox rivalry matchups. As other organizations scramble with the logistics of such a treacherous task, the Rays have already become proficient in past years of the exercise due to low fan attendance through nature.


Fans are not permitted to attend the soon-to-open professional sporting events due to the pandemic, leaving vast numbers of empty seats in all stadiums and arenas, something cameras do not like. 


“Sometimes you do not realize blessings in disguise in the moment but eventually they come to fruition,” said Rays general manager Erik Neander. “We watch all these other ball clubs having trouble figuring out exactly how this is done while we aren’t skipping a beat!”


Other organizations will struggle to catch on in their own attempts to not lose their TV audience. Neander expressed his thankfulness to those who taught him how to manage this: “My friends over in the WNBA have been dealing with this for over a decade at this point, so I have to credit them for introducing me to the concept!”


Viewers can look forward to broadcasts next month in many states.

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