by Kyle Robinson
-- The Sotos, a devout Faucist family, had been in suspense for hours for news on their father/husband after a car accident that took his life. His death was not the main concern, believe it or not, but the CAUSE of death. According to their religion: “Fauci 4:20: Thou who dies at the hand of the Coronavirus shall not enter the kingdom of Moderna.”
The family was put at ease when the doctor delivered the news that Mr. Soto had not died from the virus but from blunt force trauma.
“I have never received better news in my life,” said Angelia Soto as she exhaled with relief. “The loss of a loved one is rough but we need to know he is with the almighty for all eternity.”
The congregation waited along with the family, ready to castigate them as deplorables should the results have come back not in their favor. It seems as though all other methods of death are widely accepted by the religion. Abortion seems to be the most popular for the third year in a row.
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