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Weekly Report
Dec 23, 2020
Anakin Skywalker Reveals He Was The One That Fed Rick Ross His Pears
by Drew Valdez -- Not too long ago Rick Ross had one of the more notorious weight loss transformations among celebrities. The...
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Weekly Report
Dec 22, 2020
Woman Dies; Brought Back To Life By The Existence Of Hayley From Paramore
by Drew Valdez -- Hudson Memorial Hospital experienced a medical marvel last week as a woman suddenly woke 3 minutes and 39 seconds after...
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Weekly Report
Dec 21, 2020
1-13 Jets Feel Unstoppable After Beating Rams; Eyeing Super Bowl Appearance
by Kyle Robinson -- The Jets were able to stave off an attempted comeback from the Rams to hold onto a 23-20 victory on week 15 of the...
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Weekly Report
Dec 20, 2020
Unemployed Man Seeks Out Opportunities To Push Cameraman Out Of The Way To Feel Important
by Kyle Robinson -- Having recently been laid off as a ditch digger/refiller, Allen Turnwrench finally saw his opportunity to realize his...
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Weekly Report
Dec 20, 2020
Mookie Betts Released By Dodgers For Not Listing Preffered Pronouns In Twitter Bio
by Kyle Robinson -- The Los Angeles Dodgers had to make a tough move by releasing outfielder Mookie Betts after it was discovered by...
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Weekly Report
Dec 20, 2020
Dasani Makes Huge Splash After Striking Deal With Travis Scott
by Drew Valdez -- La Flame continues his streak of major collaborations as he has officially signed to be one of Dasani’s new...
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Weekly Report
Nov 22, 2020
Man Killed By Girlfriend After He Claimed He “Didn’t Know Who That B*tch Was”
by Drew Valdez -- Sad news strikes again as we’ve learned a man was killed by his girlfriend last night. The homicide occurred after the...
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Weekly Report
Nov 21, 2020
Washington Football Team Adopts Unofficial Nickname: Redskins (Unrelated To Teams History)
by Kyle Robinson -- The Washington Football Team (WFT) has had trouble garnering much enthusiasm from effectively not having a team name...
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Weekly Report
Nov 21, 2020
Megan Thee Stallion Tears ACL In Horrific Twerking Accident; Out For Season
by Drew Valdez -- Like many superstars as of late, rapper Megan Thee Stallion is offering a MasterClass. The subject: Advanced Twerking....
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Weekly Report
Nov 21, 2020
Elliot Blames Report Of 2-7 Start To Season On ‘Russian Disinformation Campaign’
by Kyle Robinson -- “The idea that we have only won two of our seven games this season is completely false and a ‘TOTAL HOAX.’” A Visibly...
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