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Weekly Report
May 22, 2020
Michaels Prepares For Big First Day Back Once Pandemic Ends
By Drew Valdez -- Several businesses that were forced to close their doors because they were deemed non-essential have been preparing for...
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Weekly Report
May 20, 2020
Mayor de Blasio Insists He Never Targets Specifically The Jews...Anymore...In Noticeable Ways...
...In Public...Starting Now... By Kyle Robinson -- Since the implementation of lockdown orders, Mayor Bill De Blasio has come under fire...
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Weekly Report
May 19, 2020
Furloughed Flight Attendant Forces Family To Recreate Flight Scenarios At Home
By Drew Valdez -- A Colorado family has hit some turbulence as their furloughed flight attendant mother is forcing her family to act as...
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Weekly Report
May 18, 2020
MLBPA Moves To Infect 2017-2019 Astros Teams With COVID-19 As Punishment For Cheating
By Drew Valdez -- In what was supposed to be a season full of boos and hatred towards the Astros, the current global pandemic has delayed...
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Weekly Report
May 16, 2020
Ice Cream Man Moves Up To #4 On FBI's Most Wanted List For Not Social Distancing
By Kyle Robinson -- As tensions rise on the prospect of reopening society, some members of the community simply do not understand our new...
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Weekly Report
May 5, 2020
Grimes and Musk Say "Œ D-29 Ÿß" Was First Choice For Son’s Name
By Drew Valdez -- Grimes and Elon Musk have welcomed their child "X Æ A-12" to the world as their process of creating 100 offspring...
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Weekly Report
May 4, 2020
Star Wars Fans With Lisps Hesitant To Say “May The 4th Be With You” Out Loud
By Drew Valdez -- May 4th is a day that Star Wars fans from all over wait 364 days to have their fun with. You’ll see the “May the force,...
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Weekly Report
May 1, 2020
Daredevil Returns To Bunker After Coronavirus Mortality Rate Increases .001%
By Kyle Robinson -- A clearly shaken daredevil would barely give us a Zoom interview after hearing the devastating update. Phil Knievel...
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Weekly Report
Apr 29, 2020
Man Proposes To Couch Just Days After Their First Sexual Encounter
By Drew Valdez -- As a consequence of staying home to do their part to slow the spread of the coronavirus, millions of people across the...
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Weekly Report
Apr 28, 2020
Car Window Tint Shop Owner Pivots Business During Pandemic
By Drew Valdez -- The effects of the current pandemic have changed the way millions are living their lives. For most, it means staying...
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